One of the biggest lessons that I have learned in this life is how futile it is to fight inevitability. Life is change; if we stop changing, we stop growing. Life is never going to go exactly the way that you want it to. Something is always waiting to pop up and bite you. The more that you attempt to make life go your way the more that it won't. Your life will be so much more peaceful and smooth if you just learn to stop swimming upstream.
Now, I am not saying that you should just stop making decisions and go whatever way the wind blows. We all have to make decisions every day. We need to make certain decisions-- that's just using our personal power to its fullest. But when you come up against an obstacle that you have no control over and that you really don't like, what do you do? Maybe it's a change at your job, a change in someone close to you, or even a change in your health. If this is a major change, and you have no control over it, then the more that you fight, the worse it will be. The only thing that you will get from batting your head against a stone wall is a headache. The chance of you breaking down the wall is nil.
Constant resistance to a change that you cannot control has negative effects on your health, your emotions and the people around you. When presented with a major change that one is resistant to, people tend to obsess about it, quickly becoming a pain to be around. Constant worrying and stressing over a change that you cannot control leads to all sorts of physical problems. And not one of these reactions is going to change the core problem.
It is so much better if you can recognize what is changeable and what is not. If something has manifested in your life that you cannot change, then you must change instead. Being flexible is a true virtue. You must learn to go with the flow, so to speak, instead of always trying to swim upstream, against the current. Ask yourself if this is a change that you can learn to live with. How much does it really impact your life? If it has to do with a job, then maybe you will have to adapt or find another one. If it is a major illness, then flexibility may save your life.
Again, I am not telling you that if you have contracted a major illness, to just lie down and die. But if you have gotten something such as diabetes, MS, or something similar which requires a life-style change, then going with the flow or swimming against it can determine if you survive or not. Don't make things worse by being inflexible and angry; learn your limitations and do the very best that you can every day.
Say that a loved one has adopted an attitude that is causing you pain. After telling them in the best way that you can that they are hurting you, they choose not to change. You can't change them. We can never, ever, change another person. We can only change ourselves. Rather than experiencing constant pain, wouldn't it be better to let it go? Your pain is caused by your wish that things would be different. If they aren't going to be, then adapt.
Your life is going to be just as easy, or just as difficult as you decide it is going to be. Learn to relax, learn to accept, learn to flow. You will be surprised at the inner peace that acceptance can bring.
The Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living ONE DAY AT A TIME;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
As my son once told me, the most profound line in this prayer is "the wisdom to know the difference." Learn that, and you have learned the secret to true peace and happiness.Sibyl McLendon