First, look at the individual you’re forgiving (whether it’s yourself or another) in a different way—step back and put the positive first.
Next, use that lesson to learn something positive about yourself as you move forward. Ask yourself: What lesson have I learned about myself and with what lesson am I moving forward?
In forgiving others, it’s important to realize that you’re not condoning poor behavior. You simply understand you can’t change what’s happened, and you accept there were lessons for you to learn in those experiences. You don’t have to necessarily like how you’ve learned those lessons, but you can come to a place where you’re grateful because you’re stronger. Those situations made you tougher, more aware, more conscious, and more capable. You can treasure the fact that you’ve learned so much.
Take all your experiences and become empowered by them. You can’t change them, but you can discover something of value in them. When you do, you’ll be able to extend forgiveness to yourself and others. You won’t carry the barriers and the weights of the past—you’ll be free. You’ll be free to grow into the best person you can be and to create the best life for yourself.